RAMBLE ABOUT TODAY/BOUNDARIES
This morning, while giving gratitude for a gorgeous sunrise and doing quiet meditation, a strong thought crossed my mind.Then along came this reading from the sage Clint Hurdle. It was like he read my mind.Isn’t the simple solution to a very complicated situation today setting personal boundaries? It is not hard people. Socially distance and stay at home or in some form of isolation (like your car), whenever you can. There is only one way this disease spreads.I appreciate that I cannot control people, places and things; I can control me and set boundaries that are comfortable for me and I have the right to expect others to respect them.I’m not a whistle blower by nature, most of the time I believe in live and let live.Under the current circumstances I feel differently.When I see people gathering together, and this includes places of worship, my blood pressure rises a notch.When I hear that police and by-law officers are fining people and having to patrol to enforce common sense boundaries, I get upset.When people gather together and refuse to accept today’s realities it is a threat to my boundaries and world economic realities.I will not hesitate to say something or take other appropriate action. The sooner people wake up and at least respect others rights to safety, the sooner this virus plays out. And it will play out.On this subject, I don’t care what others think.People are dying, peoples lives are being destroyed, small businesses are being desecrated, it will take years for the economy to recover and we could go on.We are ALL aware of what boundaries have to be in place today. We all must to our part through personal actions to bring this thing under control. Today, more than ever, WE ARE OUR BROTHER’S KEEPER!I know this is a ramble, and most who see it won’t read in full. Yet coming out of meditation and prayer this morning, it was something I had to externalize!!Let’s all make some great choices in setting and protecting boundaries today!! luv
Tolerating-Discomfort OR Staying-Well-Even-If-They-Don’t-Like-Our-Recovery-Or-New-Boundaries Yahoo/Inbox
- Clinton M Hurdle <clint.hurdle@icloud.com>To:Clinton M HurdleTue, Apr 7 at 8:11 AM
Monday Tolerating-Discomfort OR Staying-Well-Even-If-They-Don’t-Like-Our-Recovery-Or-New-Boundaries
Flack from Setting Boundaries
We need to know how far we’ll go, and how far we’ll allow others to go with us. Once we understand this, we can go anywhere.
—Beyond Codependency
When we own our power to take care of ourselves – set a boundary, say no, and change an old pattern – we may get flack from some people. That’s okay. We don’t have to let their reactions control us, stop us, or influence our decision to take care of ourselves.
We don’t have to control their reactions to our process of self-care. That is not our responsibility. We don’t have to expect them not to react either.
People will react when we do things differently or take assertive action to nurture ourselves, particularly if our decision in some way affects them. Let them have their feelings. Let them have their reactions. But continue on your course anyway.
If people are used to us behaving in a certain way, they’ll attempt to convince us to stay that way to avoid changing the system. If people are used to us saying yes all the time, they may start mumbling and murmuring when we say no. If people are used to us taking care of their responsibilities, feelings, and problems, they may give us some flack when we stop. That’s normal. We can learn to live with a little flack in the name of healthy self-care. Not abuse, mind you flack.
If people are used to controlling us through guilt, bullying, and badgering, they may intensify their efforts when we change and refuse to be controlled. That’s okay. That’s flack too.
We don’t have to let flack pull us back into old ways if we’ve decided we want and need to change. We don’t have to react to flack or give it much attention. It doesn’t deserve it. It will die down.
Today, I will disregard any flack I receive for changing my behaviors or making other efforts to be myself. From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
KEITH BRAY Master Certified Coach www.coached2success.com
